Wednesday, June 07, 2006

June marks the start of Crotch Itch Season

It's that time of year again. When a young man's fancy turns to thoughts of Gold Bond Powder. It's Jock Itch season. So let's keep things cool and dry down there.

Tips? Drop your pants as soon as you get in the door. Also you might be tempted to get another half day out of those underpants....DON'T! Sure it might be easy and fun-- but it is mostly unsanitary.

You might be tempted, because of the whole two pounds you lost, to put on that pair of pants you've been saving in the closet for a rainy day. You know, the ones that are two inches smaller than the comfortable size you usually wear. The ones that *almost* fit. Again: DON'T. It is imperative that you are floating free and easy south of the border.

Speaking of which, you might have read in some "men's" magazines, while waiting in the express lane at the grocery store, that some men are keeping things cool by tidying things up "down there". DON'T FALL FOR IT. It all grows back eventually. We're trying to find ways to STOP you from digging at yourself... not give you another reason to do it.

So, to sum up, stick with the loose fitting cotton, avoid the tight fitting synthetics, make free with the cooling baths and powders and above all--- KEEP THE LAPTOP OFF THE LAP. Keep it on the table.

Follow this advice and you will thank me. And your crotch will thank you.

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