Dave's Yes/No Movie Review: The Protector

No.

Fancy Thoughts about Writin'

...and how I don't have any at the moment.

Funny thing how having to work on different phases of three "actual" projects dries up any fancy thinkin' I might have about writing, writers and the whole catastrophe.

It's nose to the grindstone time and I'm just trusting whatever "stuff" I have will just kick in without thinking about it. It's really important to avoid the centipede syndrome* now. My boss almost accidentally put a voodoo jinx on me this afternoon. We were sending notes back and forth about these outlines that were about to go to draft and she mentioned something about her process... and I said something about mine--- just before I was about to start writing my draft!

Bad Idea.

Usually going from outline to draft is a breeze for me... the draft is never particularly pretty but it's down there. And once it's down I figure I can make it beautiful any time I like.

I stared at my laptop for a half an hour.

Then a voice, that sounded eerily like my father said: "Okay Balzac, quit your screwing around." And I got to work.


*you know, where the guy asks the centipede: "How do manage to walk without tripping yourself up?" I'm not going to explain any further. Plus I think the whole thing was on a Facts of Life episode or something.

Dave's Yes/No Movie Review: Black Dahlia

No.

Other People's Writing

It's fall, a particularly dangerous time for writers of all sorts, but particularly television writers. We have a whack of work that's waiting on our to-do list. Outlines, beatsheets, one-sheets, first drafts, specs... they're all just sitting there waiting for us to finish while we download, read and watch OPW.

OPW... Other People's Writing.

It's the biggest obstacle I have to getting my own writing done. Lately it's been a sneak preview of that show everybody's been talking about... which is as good as everybody's says. And the last season of that show that everybody watched but still didn't get good ratings... which was as notsogoodasearlierseasons as everybody said. And that's just the television. There's movies, books and comics sitting in piles around my apartment. Calling me.

The summer is fading quick and there's a definite getting back to business vibe everywhere I look. Jim is writing a review of every movie at the TIFF, or so it seems. Will has posted a crazy Posto de la Gargantua about the State of the Industry, and Denis is back to his pre-summer blogging level. So that's it... I'm cutting myself off. No more extra-bonus-webisode-can't-miss-it procrastination. No more watching movies through twice (once with, once without commentary), no more special-featuring my boxed sets. Nope. I'm going Basic cable, kids. Spend a little more time trying to become somebody else's OPW.

Except on weekends... and holidays... and as a special reward for getting something done... like a blog post or something.

Dave's Yes/No Movie Review: Hollywoodland

No.

BattleStar Galactica Webisodes not available in Canada, you say?... Pity.

Scifi is offering a series of webisodes leading up the the season opener on Oct 3rd. Trouble is, you can't see them from here and Space is offering nothing.

This can't be happening. Not on the Internet! And they look really good too!

It's happened where I've gone and found programming "unavailable in my area"-- but it never mattered before. This aggression will not stand. I know there's a geek out there that has probably already solved this injustice with some kind of IP spoofer or Internet Region Cloaking Device... right? A cloaking device?! No?

UPDATE: An anonymous friend has flipped us this URL and provided a convenient work around until the IRCD is invented. It was great to see Robson Arm's very own Alisen Down make an appearance in the second spot!

Dave's Yes/No Movie Review: The Wicker Man (2006)

No!

Feeding the Writer

One of the more enjoyable rituals after returning from a trip is: the restaurant debriefing. I sit with my pals, usually at some restaurant or other, and start listing the places I went and the things I ate.

The Marketplace: (Burrard and Nelson) I used to have breakfast "out" when away. And let me tell you I'm a breakfast fiend. I love bacon, eggs, toast, sausages, pancakes, hashbrown and a cup of tea almost better than any other meal. Sadly, I can only do that once a week nowadays, maybe twice. Instead, I left the Sutton Place and went next door to the Marketplace (for east-coasters it's like Sobeys only much smaller and much trendier). I got myself some milk and Raisin Bran and my breakfasts for the week were pretty well taken care of. [He wipes away a tear.]

SteamRollers: (Robson and Bute) When I was staying at the Sylvia on my first trip out three years ago, SteamRollers' steamy windows beckoned on those cool February evenings when I walked to and from our story meetings. But that first trip was heavy on itinerary and I didn't have a chance to go. But my next trip... and every trip after... For those of you who don't know what a SteamRoller is, their slogan isn't much help: "They're steamed...and rolled". Basically, it's a steamed burrito filled with rice, beans, meat, cheese, veggies and sauce, in endless variations. And hot sauce... Hot sauce which they can add on the burrito or you can take away in a little cup and drizzle into every bite. Oh, baby.

Royal Thai: (Robson and Bute) Right beside SteamRollers, is my favorite Thai place. This is usually the first place I stop after the hotel tells me my room isn't ready yet. The lunch specials are under $10 and delicious. Favorite dishes: Cashew Chicken, Garlic Beef and Brocolli, Hot and Spicy Prawns. I ate there twice this trip.

Shanghai Chinese Bistro: (Alberni?) Although it is deservedly famous for it's Dim Sum it's the General Chow's Chicken that keeps me coming back. Sweet and Spicy.

Kamei Royale: (Burrard and Alberni) I'm not a sushi aficionado so I can't really speak to the quality of the sushi here (although the people I was with liked it) I did enjoy the tempura shrimp and veggies and the noodle soup. The Chicken Teryaki didn't do it for me though.

Earl's: Earl's is a big chain out west. It's a nice-looking restaurant staffed with pretty girls and boys and serves fancy pub food. I had the Jeeri Curry. It was all right.

Savory Coast: (Robson) My first visit to this place. The location is great and it has a very nice patio area that overlooks Robson. It's moderately priced (especially when compared with the delicious but expensive Cin Cin across the street). The people I was eating with all ordered salads which led to my declaration: "I didn't travel all the way across this country to have a freaking salad!" I got the peppercorn steak and garlic mashed which was tastey... and/but in european portions.

Subway: On our last day, we started out feeling cocky. We broke two stories by lunch the day before and thought we had this last one sewn up. But lunch time came and went and we didn't get past our act one turn. It's wasn't pretty. The boss went out to Subway and brought back a couple of subs for everybody (I had the Cold Cut Combo) and some cookies. They were good, but didn't help. Eventually, the four of us went for a walk and just dumped the story we were working on and picked up one that was just mentioned in passing the day before. By the time we got back to the room, we had the story mostly broken down. Le phew.

Pre-pre-pre Production

My brain is squeezed.

Today we had our first meeting about possible story lines for the possible third season of Robson Arms. It's funny how something so indefinite can begin to take shape with such determination. Maybe it's just where my head is at right now, but it feels like that it's an entity that exists, somehow, independent of the six of us in the room... And it wants to live!

I have no idea how my brain will refill itself by tomorrow. My hope is that tea, mindless television and a good night's sleep will do the trick.

Dirty Purple

This probably old news to people who go to the malls and check out the latest fashions...

But it was apparent to me , while I was walking through a shopping centre off Robson Street today, that the International Designer Conspiracy, the cabal that determines what Everybody Will be Wearing Next Year, decided sometime last year that everybody will be wearing some shade of dirty purple this fall.

The good news though... that it seems like that purple goes nicely with all those browns you've been buying for the last year or so.

Horray!

UPDATE: My observations seemed to be confirmed by both CNN and Breakfast Television this morning. Within five minutes of one another both commented on the presence of purple on the red carpet at last night's Emmy Awards.

What Writers Wear Writing: Confessions

Okay!

Now we're cooking with an efficient, non-polluting, renewable resource!

The "What Writers Wear: a survey" post provoked a crazy and unprecedented response. And I knew when I posted it that this post would shortly follow.

Writers: what do you wear writing?

Forget the penny loafers and the tweed jacket with the patches on the elbows and the little hash burns on the lapels that you toss on when you step out. What have you got on when you're scribbling your play on the yellow pad, typing up your novel on the old Smith-Corona, dancing your fingers across your laptop's keyboard as you pump out quality television programming? -- if anything at all!

Tell all; omit no detail however stained, worn, or sophisticated in aroma.

Since I do most of my writing when I literally first get out of bed, I'm not wearing much. Sometimes my Stanfield's and a t-shirt-- usually picked up off the floor where I dropped them the night before.

Lately I've been wearing one of those wrap around things fat guys wear in Bali. It took a long time for me to work up the courage to get one but I got tired of using a towel and pretending I was Yul Brynner's younger, bigger-boned, brother. So I got this very manly one; it's a black and gold number that I just slap on when I stumble over to the kitchen for my Raisin Bran and fire up the computer... I'm lovin' it.

What writers wear: A survey

It's the end of August and that means a trip to Mark's so that I can be properly attired when I arrive in Vancouver this weekend for the super top secret plans for Robson Arms Season III. Coming to you in 2008... or not.

So what does a well-dressed writer wear? I have no idea.

Josh Friedman has an hilarious description of his wardrobe, and if it's only half-true it's scary. Scary because it rings so true.

Now me, I'm no Hollywood bigwig screenwriter who can afford your fancy Beverly Hills tracksuit that the high rollers like Mr. Friedman don. Nope. I'm a Mark's Work Wearhouse guy. I got a pair of these nylon skater shorts that older, fatter guys who want to be cool wear. I've worn them so much this year they're transparent. I've gone back to Mark's countless times to find me more of these exact shorts-- no luck. There will be a ritual burning of what's left of them this fall.

I'd turn to the story department of Robson Arms for inspiration but it's mostly girls. Jesse McKeown drops in from time to time with a signature cap or toque hanging at some jaunty angle but after returning from India he's as thin as a PEI phone book so that's no good. The rest of the writing department is either a fitted Ironhead Tee with Lululemon casual pants and a jacket or a homemade knit sweater over a pair of capri jeans and some funky boots.

So... what am I to do? I need a "look" before I head back to the big city. Denis, what are you wearing to your Across the River story meetings in TO? Alex, I'd love to hear what the well-dressed Montreal screenwriter with a box office record breaking film has on as he strolls down St. Laurent. Jane, you of the bright and bold sweaters, can you tell us what Andy and the rest of the boys are wearing as you break one story after another? Diane, you're chatting with a lot of writers... who's wearing what?

Jr. Scientist Procrastination Kit

I'm a big astronomy buff. So I was totally suckered when my sister sent me a link to the Stardust@Home project.

No more silly blogs, or time-wasting movie trailer. No, I'm afraid I'm too busy making a contribution dude! With the Stardust@Home project people like you and me can actually help out with the grunt work of a real astronomical project. It's a collaboration "consisting of thousands of volunteers all over the world, and professional scientists at U. C. Berkeley and NASA/JSC."

Basically, after a brief tutorial, you examine a series of slides of Aerogel under a "virtual microscope" looking for dust that was picked up by collectors on the tiny spaceship Stardust. (I'm not kidding) On its seven year journey through the solar system it flew around, flew behind Comet Wild 2's coma, picked up some interstellar dust... This is seriously cool, if slightly geeky, stuff.

So if you're looking for a new and useful way to waste your time, get your lab coat on and check it out.

Interview with Espenson

Buffy writer Jane Espenson (who has a terrific blog of her own) offers a lot of great advice and insights on television writing in general and writing TV spec in particular in this interview on Popgurls.com.

Dave's Yes/No Movie Review: Inconvenient Truth

Yes.

The Raiders of the Lost Ark. In 30 seconds. Performed by bunnies.

The folks at Angry Alien have released their latest production.

If it's not broke...break it.

It's weird how all the screenwriting books and magazines and podcasts are the worst kind of procrastination tools for writers. Man, if we're trying to avoid writing there's nothing better.

The irony is they may serve you best when you're actually working on something.

An example: I'm working on a rewrite of a feature and like a good boy I've been trying to avoid buying and reading the latest issues of the usual magazines. Trying to stay away from the usual websites. Keep away from my iPod.

I need to be strict with myself. Why? Things like: I once took a whole week off work because I convinced myself I had to watch the first three seasons of Buffy-- all at once. I mean, it made my dialogue very Weldonesque for a while but really.

The thing is when I'm actually working on something-- maybe that's the best time to be getting ideas from other writers. Today I had to take a longish drive out of town so I decided to take my iPod and listen to an old Creative Screenwriting Podcast with James Mangold talking about I Walk The Line.

Mangold was sharing a story about the trouble with shooting the musical numbers-- about needing to have a problem in every musical number. To make it not just be about the music. To have drama in the scene.

Insert awakening metaphor here.

It was just the reminder I needed. I find sometimes I wraps things up too early. I resolve problems between characters too soon. Maybe it's because I'm a middle child and have a natural tendency to play the peacemaker... But having the couple make up, or the bully get his comeuppance, or Indy find the Ark of the Convenant, before they absolutely have to is a mistake.

The reason the story goes on is because something isn't right, or unresolved, or broke. And once it's fixed whether you have 2 pages left or twenty-- your story is done.

So resist your natural and wholesome urge to fix things. Indulge your unnatural and evil urge to prolong the suffering of your characters until the last possible moment.

And save all those magazines, books and podcasts until you're actually working on something.

Dave's Yes/No Movie Review: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

Yes.

The God Who May Be

I don't know how many of you are radio fans, and of you radio fans, how many are CBC fans, and of you CBC fans how many are Ideas fans, and of you Ideas fan how many of you heard the third part of the program "The God Who May Be" last night. But it was very interesting. I can't encapsule all the issues touched on but here's the blurb from the CBC website:

It was a modern axiom that philosophy and religion should be strangers, the one relying on reason the other on revelation. But, as the limits of both reason and revelation have become clearer, a new conversation has begun, and Irish philosopher Richard Kearney has been one of its leaders. In a three-part conversation with David Cayley, he talks about his philosophy of the imagination and his book, The God Who May Be.

Of particular interest to writers was Kearney's journey from the roots of Irish literature to reality television to the monsters of imagination in Post 9/11 world culture. Some of which came, I believe, from another of his book: Strangers, Gods and Monsters

I can only hope that the program eventually comes up on the Ideas podcast... if not I'll just have to get the books.

Overheard in Charlottetown

How come nobody ever told me about this awesome blog? The thing I like best: it delivers what it promises. A bunch of expressions, snatches of conversations, bits of dialogue overheard. But, to be fair, there's some from out of town too.